


An Underworld Valentine's Day

by hoard_of_stars



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Don't Read This, F/M, Hades is a Good Parent, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M, Non-Consensual Haircuts, Persephone is a good stepmom, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is STUPID, Valentine's Day, bondage and gagging but not in the way you think, does this count as bondage??, honestly i am on such crack rn, no smut i swear, persephone is a sneaky bastard, sksksk enjoy im so sorry if this is the only work you've read by me its so BAD i cant, this is from my dark phase when i didnt know how to write im sorry, this shit aint edited im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 06:42:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18615235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoard_of_stars/pseuds/hoard_of_stars
Summary: Valentine's Day in the Underworld ft. an Unwanted Haircut and a Surprise Visit from Nico's Crushor that one time hades and persephone kidnapped will solace and brought him to the underworld as a valentines day gift for nico





	An Underworld Valentine's Day

It was Valentine’s day. Which Nico was spending in the Underworld. 

Of course, that didn’t prevent the dozens of Valentine-y Iris messages that his friends somehow managed to somehow send to the Underworld. He wasn’t avoiding spending it at the camp, but he had been called for Underworld-y business by Hades.

I’m touched, really! he thought as he got ready to meet Persephone for some ‘important business.’ But can they let me do my godsdamned Underworld-y crap in peace?

He pulled on his sneakers and ran to the throne room, where Persephone and Hades stood waiting. Persephone held a pair of scissors, Hades a long cloak, and a chair was in front of them. 

_ Uh oh. _

“Nico, come here please.” Persephone called to him. She wasn’t a mean stepmom, and Demeter was a pretty decent grandmother. She actually liked him a lot. Mainly because he shovelled down every godsdamned bowl of wheat cereal she threw at him. 

“Hi Persephone. Hi, dad.” He waved a little bit. “What’d you call me for?” He spared an uneasy glance at the scissors. “You’re not planning to run me through with those, are you?”

Hades smirked. “Actually, no. Sit down.” 

“Uhm, I’m feeling uneasy about this…” Nico grimaced as he sat down. This could not be good. Persephone smiled as several vines sprouted up and tied his arms, legs, and waist to the chair. 

“SHIT!” He tried to wiggle out of them, but they only tightened. 

“You need a haircut, young man!” Persephone said with her hands on her hips. Hades threw the cloak around his shoulders and began spraying his hair with water and combing it. “Honestly,” she said as she snipped away a length. “How can you expect to get a nice boy with hair like this?” 

He looked at his dad helplessly. The Lord of the Dead only shrugged. “She’s right.” 

“May the gods help me…” Nico groaned.

“We are, you idiot!” Persephone growled.

_ 10 minutes later… _

“Well, there you go, son. You’re done.” Hades said as Persephone loosened the vines. 

“I probably look like a nightmare…” Nico grumbled as Persephone sighed and handed him a mirror. He glanced in it and saw himself with a surprisingly stylish undercut. He was secretly pleased but tried not to let it show.

“I look like a military soldier!” He complained loudly. Persephone only smiled.

“You know you like it…” she sang.

“Whatever.” he huffed in response. 

If only that were the end of the suffering.

Later that evening Hades, Persephone, and Nico sat down to eat supper when the Underworld equivalent of the doorbell rang.

“Son, could you get that please?” Hades requested nonchalantly. Nico raised an eyebrow but answered the Underworld equivalent of the door anyway.

He was shocked to see a tied up, gagged, flushed Will Solace with a note pinned to the bonds, which were vines, his medical fanny pack lopsided on his hips. 

He glanced at the note, which read:  _ I give myself 2 u this Valentine’s Day xoxo _

Face red, he stiffened and yelled, “ _ PERSEPHONE!!!” _

His stepmother responded, “T WAS YOUR FATHER’S IDEA!”

His dad retaliated with, “I DIDN’T SAY TO ACTUALLY  _ DO  _ IT!”

There was a pause, and then, “Just wait until he gets hungry. Then, you give him the pomegranates.”

Will made an  _ mmph?!  _ noise. “ _ Dad…”  _ Nico hissed.

“He’ll be yours, son.  _ Forever.” _

Nico sighed, still red, and quickly untied Will. “I’m sorry about them abducting you. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

In the background, Hades yelled, “YOU’RE NOT JACKSON OR GRACE WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?!”

Nico felt his face heat up, despite the fact that it was freezing in the Underworld. They stood- or, in Will’s case,  _ sat _ \- there in silence until Will finally said, “ _ Dinner _ … would be great.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is crack. i was on crack when i wrote this. i'm still on crack. this is unedited GARBAGE and from my dark stage when i thought i was good at writing. tbh i'm probably gonna look back on everything i wrote this year in like a year and cringe so bad but like  
> fuck it. just enjoy. don't be scared to tell me how awful it is tho lol


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